Fear keeps me hiding at night

Close your eyes.

Imagine yourself looking through someone else's body.

Lift their hands.

Walk with their feet.

This feels different from your body, does it not?

Open your eyes.

Imagine you still felt you were still in someone else's body.

You still can control everything just fine, but it feels like you don't belong.

 

 

 

 

fear/fi(ə)r/

Noun:

An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

To begin with, the experiment in which I wanted to conduct never was able to happen. The items I needed to conduct my experiment was not the easiest to find. So, in class, I shared something that makes me afraid. I shared the hopeless feeling which comes over me once and a while. The hopeless feeling is inevitable because I can't stop my body from when my body becomes no longer my own.

I noted a few things while presenting. Some seemed to not care and continued their conversations in which they held before I began presenting. This didn't bother me, I am used to people ignoring what I say. The second thing I noticed is some people who listened seemed thrown off by the concept. The third few people, in my opinion, seemed as if I was telling a lie. I was told I was telling a lie from eighth grade to the present day by family, this third group didn't bother me.

The real reaction I thought I would achieve was found in the second group. I believed this because all throughout my life when I explained what was happening to me, they were always thrown off, which is why I was pretty sure it wasn't an uncommon occurrance.

A change to my idea, being I was unable to do the first one, would be to conduct an experiment. I could have had the whole class partner up and try to have one conduct the other where to walk and see with just simple instructions of the mouth and hands. The person being moved would thus be unable to move by him or herself during the experiment. This would help give a sense of fear if they truly thought how sometimes a body can be a prison, especially if you don't feel like your not supposed to be there.





Next.


During some of the other presentations, I would have to say the presentation where I had to turn my back to the presenter was the most memorable. The presentation went as follows: we sat facing the wall, back to the presenter, and she then told us a story about how everyone seemed to act this way throughout her life. I responded so strongly to this presentation because I don't think I would ever want to my life to be like that. Yea, there are some minor incidents in my life which allows me to see what she was saying could be true, but not my entire relations existence could be summed up with a presentation towards the wall. I believe this is why the presenter was memorable to me. It makes me relate, in ways, to my own experiment. What I mean by this is, her and I are both given something through life neither of us want. We continue to get the same exact outcome even though we both try to change our life around what is happening to us, but to no prevail.